Wednesday, September 15, 2010

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all...

That is why I haven't posted since July, I have nothing wonderful to share with anyone, and if I did I couldn't say because it's braggin right? So what to say. Well shit I'm just gonna go for it, and say what's on my mind.

I need help, I need to crawl out of this hole before it sucks me in again. Each day it gets worse and worse, I want the things I had a few months ago...

Husband who loves me everyday (and night!)
A beautiful home that doesn't have piles of laundry on the floor
A super close relationship with my family
And time to breathe

So what should I do? I can't seem to get off my ass and get this shit going. Why? because I will go out of my way for a distraction. I love my distractions. oh yes I do.

I need coffee and a new brain.... like Megs, or my moms or something, that will make keeping up my house top priority. But we can't do that can we?

Maybe if I had some help.... Steve says that now that I have a job he'll help me, Once I get it back to normal first! How does that help?

I need you to help dig me out! Grab a fucking shovel! I didn't do this alone!

That is the biggest stress in my life right now. He thinks I do not care, it's not that! I just can't seem to do it! I'm not the kind of person that can run around all day working and then come home and be running around too.

Even before I got my job the months this place was immaculate, I was constantly cleaning up something, I never got to rest!

And now we have a fucking physco dog that barfs and shits constantly!

I am always cleaning up dog puke.

Whitney came, and It was wonderful.... made me feel alive again. Unfortunatly I am now suffering from fun whithdrawls....

lost my thought path.... oh well

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